“Funeral operatives. Tell me those two words do not make you think of a crack undercover squad of superspy-morticians, doing battle with the dead who rise each night (a la Dellamorte Dellamore) and those who would seek to control them and wreak havoc upon an innocent world. They even have a woodcut-style secret society seal logo. There is an ankh, ladies and gentlemen. It does not get more awesome than this. Delving deeper into the site, one finds fascinating things like the Travel Document for the Dead, which is perhaps the most quintessentially modern answer to the Ferryman’s pennies I have ever heard. You can order it online.”—ECTOPLASMOSIS! » The World Organization of Funeral Operatives
“Your site sucks. Let me be clear: your site sucks. You are actively inconveniencing your customers and userbase. Do you understand? Do you have a single usability engineer on your entire team, or are you three hacker doofuses and a graphic design dropout making snack runs to Costco every three days while desperately hanging around for a buyout? I mean, have you used other social websites? What the hell is the matter with you?”—Social Strata Support: How do I delete my account and leave this site?
“The only way young artists truly grow past anime/manga is by abandoning it and starting again from a traditional perspective, which is what they should have been doing from the beginning. The problem is that stereotypical manga is a bare-bones, symbol-based art system which is very restrictive and skips over extremely important observational skills. Such extreme styles are only safe to adopt after you are comfortable with reality-based skills. So at best, starting out by making manga art is a waste of time, and at worst, it will trip up and hinder an artist for years.”—Awful and bizarre art by people you know - The Something Awful Forums
“You know what I hate about people who criticize you? They criticize what you say, but they never give you credit for how loud you say it. Or how long you say it.”—Stephen Colbert to O’Reilly (via nixg)
“FACT: I don’t really make shit off of all that horrific ZIM merch you see at Hot Topics and in….Hot Topics. I honestly couldn’t tell you if it’s sold anywhere but that place, but I know I’ve never bought anything from there and I sure as hell am not living like Scrooge McDuck diving into the mountains of money accrued from people buying things that are uncomfortable to the eyes at best.”—
““Hey, kids!” I called out, a little too loud, really, “It’s Richard Horvitz, voice of Invader ZIM himself!” ”Ewwwwww!” came the familiar and immediate response from the kids who begged the tour guide to take them to see Spongebob or something.”—Mindspill » INVADER ZIM Fact #2
“Even Hitler, who tried to move the entire haute-couture industry to Germany during the Occupation was no match for French fashion. He would have done well to heed the warning of his contemporary Mussolini who told him in 1930: ‘Any power whatsoever is destined to fail before fashion. If fashion says skirts are short, you will not succeed in lengthening them, even with the guillotine.’”— Radical Tradionalists, an essay by Susannah Frankel (via rosemarygeorge) (via lagedor)
* “Rapekit” - A game in which you list the contents of a “rapekit” that would have to be applied to a given person before said person was sexually attractive, or “rapeable”. Works best on people with easily-fixed dealbreakers, such as bad hair (you would have scissors or styling product in your rapekit), poor grooming (tweezers), or irritating modes of speech (duct tape, ball gag, etc). Similar to Desert Island thought experiment-type games.
If a person’s rapekit is empty, or blank (as indicated with “____________”), they require no adjustments whatsoever, and are already perfectly sexually attractive.
“Just like in the movies, as Brown’s massive frame dropped, the three security guards behind him were revealed, the electrified coils from their tazers still crackling and feeding shut the fuck up into Brown’s back.”—Mindspill » INVADER ZIM Fact #1
“The very people who believe that everything has already been discovered and everything said, will greet your work as something new, and will close the door behind you, repeating once more that nothing remains to be said.” …
“Newness is in the mind of the artist who creates, and not in the object he portrays.”
“What moves men of genius, or rather, what inspires their work, is not new ideas, but their obsession with the idea that what has already been said is still not enough.”