ha. ha. ha. fuuuuck
my gift to you is the following anecdote, the origin of which i have forgotten:
"one time i walked up to meet my friend in the cafeteria, and she points down to her muffin top, where her stretchmarks were visible over her pants. she points at them, smiles at me and says, ‘hell yeah i’m showing my stripes today!’"
another body image pro tip: they are your racing stripes. they make you go faster.