Whenever men get unreasonably angry, I like to call them “son” and tell them they “need to calm down.” men love that.
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speaking of grim, he has learned to spot items in his environment too well and now we can’t go for a fuckin walk without him bringing home another stuffed toy
“ok but if you want to bring it home, YOU have to carry it”
he immediately discovered something very important about when you’re wearing your toy: you can put it in your mouth at the same time
seattle’s local Onion ripoff is so painfully unfunny i feel so bad for everyone who is friends with these writers. my god
